Self Care Is Not Self Love; Truth Bombs On Your Tactics

Self care is not self love. Trust me, you are going to want to read this.

A little bit ago, I stumbled upon a Tiktok that Karissa Wampler (k.wamp) made challenging her followers to change their perspective on self love. She stated, “self sabotage can easily disguise itself under the name self love”. Whoa, right? My first response to this truth bomb was actually to disagree. It wasn’t until I continued to think about this concept for a few days that it really hit me. Self care and self love are not the same. I realized I have done a whole lot of self care and categorized it as self love, and I know some of you can totally relate to this. 

Self care looks differently for everyone but it can be getting your nails done, doing some retail therapy, working out, eating healthy, reading, taking time off to relax, and simply doing things that are life giving. Although self care is amazing, and we should continue to do it, it is absolutely meaningless if we don’t have accountability, set boundaries, say no when we need to, walk away from people and things that tear us down, push ourselves to reach our goals, and give ourselves grace when we don’t meet the high expectations we set for ourselves. Self care is 100% connected to self love, but it is not sustainable. Sometimes what we want in the present moment and what we need are very different. We cannot use these terms to cover up becoming complacent. It is not enough to have the set “spa day”, but neglect the insecurities, shame, and feeling of failure you have carried for years. So what does self love look like and how can we do it? For me, self love started by becoming very self aware. I had to force myself to be alone with my thoughts, and ask those tough thought provoking questions. It continued by being accountable and following through with what I said I was going to do. This led to me subconsciously trusting myself so much more when it came to decision making. Self love for me meant budgeting my finances so I could save towards my goals, instead of splurging on a shopping spree because it would temporarily make me feel fulfilled. It meant forcing myself to get off social media and go to a yoga class, even if I felt like I didn’t have the time, because I knew it would be good for me. It also meant saying no to things that no longer served me and walking away, even when it was uncomfortable. 

I hope each and everyone of you reading this loves and takes care of yourself, but I also want to encourage you to dig deeper. Putting in the work to become your best self will be one of the best decisions you can make! I challenge you to think about this concept and what it possibly looks like in your own life, and to take action.

xoxo, B

Other Sources on this subject

Self-Love Vs. Self-Care: What’s The Difference? (Hint: It’s Huge!)